Why No-One is Invisible at IHC
Last night I sat in a room circled alongside 200 young male summer camp counselors. It was one of the most eye-opening experiences i’ve ever had.
Most of these guys I didn’t know, how could I? They only arrived at IHC a few days ago. I didn’t recognize most faces, I didn’t know most names and I had no idea what any of them are doing at camp. What I did know was that they all came from different backgrounds, countries or religions and they had all travelled to IHC for the same reason as thousands of others before them… for a summer they will never forget.
The reason we were all sitting in a room was because it’s summer camp staff orientation and we were attending a session called ‘Navigating your World’.
The purpose of the session was to recognize what makes a male counselor at IHC such an important person in our community. It was to get us thinking about how we are perceived, how we want to be perceived and how our actions and words impact our self-image and how others see us. It’s not an easy session, but it’s an important one.
It started with the Leadership team standing by a flip chart with two words written on it — MEN DON’T
When asked to provide answers to what men don’t do there were a lot of responses that you might expect…
“Men don’t cry”
“Men don’t wear pink”
“Men don’t dance”
“Men don’t compliment other men”
“Men don’t sit down when they pee”
“Men don’t talk about their feelings”
“Men don’t listen”
The list ended up with about 25 things men DON’T do.
Then, without a word, the Leadership team scored out the N’T and added IHC at the front, so it now read ‘IHC MEN DO’
Suddenly the message sunk in and resonated around the room. We are in an environment that fosters all these traits, and we should be proud of them.
Men at IHC can do all of the above.
What I quickly learnt was it takes a certain type of person to work at a summer camp like IHC, they are hired for more than just their skillset, they are hired for the person they are.
Don’t mistake our answers as what we truly believe as individuals when we said them, they were answered how males in a wider society perceive other males. It’s called toxic masculinity and it stops us from being who we really can be for fear of being judged. Although the times are slowly changing, it is so deeply rooted in society that men should be ‘men’ and not do any of the fore-mentioned things.
After we spoke about this, Joel shared a story. It was extremely personal, powerful, yet positive message of what it takes to be a good man. How it takes time to learn and grow into a good role model. How it happens quicker for some and slower for others but most of all, it takes effort.
As the session developed, the Leadership team opened the circle up to anyone who wanted to share something with the group, whether it be their successes, their struggles, their stories, positive or negative. The idea was simply to open up and to share, without fear and without judgement. As a young male I can personally say that this is one of the hardest things to do.
I expected there to be one or two people take the floor to share a story, I was wrong. For the next hour or two, dozens of young males opened up to a group of strangers. Sharing personal details about their life that they perhaps had never told anyone before.
IHC men didn’t just break the glass ceiling on the topic, they smashed their way through to the top of the skyscraper.
Now, out of respect I won’t be sharing any of the stories here.
I wish others could of been there though, because 200 young males walked into that room and left closer and stronger with each other than anyone would ever expect. 200 strangers, now brothers.
It was a night i’ll never forget.
The next day, I walked down the boys bunk line in the morning and I noticed that everyone I walked past said good morning to each other, asked how their day was, how they were getting on, not one person avoided eye contact or ignored someone.
If you think about it for a second, that’s amazing.
Could you imagine walking through a city and greeting everyone you walk past? Could you imagine being in a school and no-one felt invisible, every child no matter who or what they are, is welcomed by everyone? It would be amazing!
I’m so proud to have been a part of that session and have the chance to work alongside 200 IHC men who are always trying to be the best possible version of themselves.
Campers coming to IHC this summer may or may not understand this, they might have no idea that the staff here are always trying to make them feel included, involved and recognized. We try do it whenever possible, in the activity lessons, when we pick teams, when we’re in the bunks, even at dinner where the simple thing like adding round tables means that everyone is equal and no child or staff member can feel pushed out at the side. You can make eye contact with everyone sitting there.
It’s a little like Disneyworld, every little detail is meticulously planned, reviewed and improved each year to make everyone and anyone feel equal and special.
The simple gesture of a ‘good morning’ or ‘how’s your day’ to a child who is perhaps homesick or struggling to find their place in a group can change everything.
It’s inspiring and as a parent you should feel lucky that your children are in good hands this summer.
No-one is invisible at IHC.
