Five Simple Ways to Build a Camper-Counselor Trust

I say the same sentence in both my professions: as a teacher during the school year and as a counselor in the summertime.

It could easily be the same situation. Same group of kids. The student in the classroom is immediately red-faced and nervous when I say those words… a camper looks the exact opposite; they breathe a sigh of relief.

So why such a difference in a child’s reaction?

In school, the teacher has one ultimate goal, to help students learn. Yes, both socially and academically… but we must get back to the lesson at some point.

At camp we teach a different kind of lesson. We build secure relationships for children with people other than a parent.

It all comes down to building that trust.

1. Stop, pause, and listen

It’s that simple! Listen, and hear out their problem or issue. Give them your time and show them that they are being thoughtful about the situation they are in. Many adults brush past worries children have, in the hopes that the child will move on quicker. Sometimes all they need is to hear themselves talk out their own ideas.

2. Validate them

Even if you whole-heartedly disagree with your camper’s opinion or what they are feeling, try and put yourself back into your own childhood shoes. We can all understand how we felt certain ways even when we were in the wrong! Tell them they have reason to feel that way and mean it. Even if they are wrong, they are more likely to hear your opinion on the matter if they first see someone (you) truly can see and understand where they are coming from.

3. Be consistent

Having ten campers or more in one bunk, it’s hard to not have favorites. NONE of my campers over my ten years as a camp counselor knew who was my favorite. Many of my campers had incorrect guesses, and their guesses changed daily. If Jack makes you laugh by sticking out his tongue and Joe copies him to see the same reaction, show him the same laugh! The best counselors make every single camper feel the love.

4. Be approachable

Be someone they can turn to! If a child feels judged, or unable to approach a counselor they may feel lonely. You, as the counselor, cannot be the judge of your own approachability. Use your resources. Ask your co-staff, your supervisor, a few campers, people who see you in action with your campers,

“Do you think all of my campers feel they could come to me with a problem?”

Sometimes we don’t ask, because we’re afraid of the answer. We want to be a good counselor, but we can’t avoid feedback if we want that to be the case! See if they have any insight from observation. Constructive feedback is always helpful, but we can’t be too proud to hear it.

5. Have Fun!

This is 95% of the job, if not more. Of course those moments where you help a camper through an issue will be special, but they will hopefully be few and far between! Counselors who are FUN and in the mix with the campers playing, chatting, and laughing are the ones who get the most out of summer camp. You want to leave feeling like you gave it your all! It takes a special person to be a great counselor and I have seen so many at Camp IHC.

As a kid, when your counselor asks to have a chat outside, you feel heard. You want to share your ideas, opinions, and hear your counselor’s thoughts. These moments are important to kids. An adult, other than my parent, took the time to understand me.

Counselors are put in a powerful position. We turn into parents for a summer. Sure, we spend all day outside playing with our campers at activities. We sleep in the same bunk and calm them of their fear of thunderstorms in the middle of the night. We give them piggybacks and braid their hair and make sure they have clean clothes set out for each day.

And then there are times where we get to see our campers true colors. We watch them build character and personality. We see who they are when mom and dad aren’t watching in the wings. The moment they learn to trust their own decision-making skills while still having us as a sounding board. They feel pride in knowing right from wrong. Some of us are even lucky enough to come back each camp season at IHC to watch “our kids” grow.

We are their “person” for the summer. The human being they choose to trust most for such a short amount of time. A counselor’s primary goal should be, to build a great camper-counselor trust.